Heart and Understanding

I wish I could trick my heart
so, it does not break with
these times,
heavy times,
un-human times,
hard to take,
easy to suffer.

I wish I could block my understanding but,
I know about our conflicts,
the conflicts humans are really good at.
What is black for me
white, it will be for others.
This is our reality and,
we are willing to die for it.
But my understanding,
always active,
pushes me to sense our conflicts.

I wish I could lie to my heart.
I wish my heart could take
news that is fake.
I’d say: oh, please, oh, don’t worry!
All is fascinating!
Black and brown people are fine!
White people are great!
No mass shootings, no, no way!
And, believe it or not,
alt and far rights
are doing amazing:
they love us all!

Nonetheless my heart,
your heart, our hearts know better.
And, they will not, they won’t take any,
not even one, news that is fake,
our hearts are always awake,
they won’t accept it, if lies, we try to make.

I wish my heart,
my understanding
could only help me
to read vigorous colors,
to smell the lines forming your hand,
to touch the sound
of a million crickets,
to listen to the always talkative night, and,
to see, at least once,
our conflicts,
our un-human times,
our heavy times
to just fade away
so, my heart, my understanding and I
can happily live
while we wait, with decency, our final hour.

Pepe Caudillo. Raleigh, NC. May 2018.